- +234 (0)812 463 8252
- [email protected]
- 3B, Niger Avenue, Villa Nova Estate, Abuja, Nigeria
African Centre for Leadership, Strategy & Development
African Centre for Leadership, Strategy & Development
The Spotlight project played a crucial role in addressing a distressing situation within our community. I had the privilege of attending a significant meeting held in Sanguala, where we gained valuable insights and knowledge. Thanks to the learnings we acquired during this meeting, we successfully put an end to child marriage in our community. Now, if anyone attempts to marry off their child, the chiefs promptly intervene and return the child to their parents. We have established a rule that only girls who are 18 years old and above can be considered for marriage, following the pronouncement by the paramount ruler and the introduction of byelaws to the community.
This groundbreaking change has greatly ensured the safety and well-being of our women. Previously, our women had no voice in such practices and were merely responsible for giving birth, after which their children would be married off. However, now the women are being heard and granted the right to make decisions regarding their lives.
Nevertheless, despite this positive transformation, our community still faces challenges stemming from a neighboring Cameroonian community with whom we share boundaries. Unfortunately, this community continues to practice child marriage, and individuals from there used to cross into our community to marry our girls. While we have successfully abolished the practice within our territory, the Nigerian bye-laws do not apply to the Cameroonian community. Therefore, it is imperative that we hold regular meetings and engage in sensitization efforts in the communities bordering Cameroon. We must consistently remind them of the existence of the bye-laws and the consequences associated with their violation. Given the deep-rooted nature of this practice, it requires continuous supervision and ongoing education for the people.
Additionally, we encounter challenges related to inadequate infrastructure and healthcare services. Our roads are in deplorable condition, making transportation difficult. We rely on foot travel to reach markets and distant hospitals, which poses significant challenges in cases of medical emergencies, particularly during childbirth. The absence of healthcare facilities in Iyindeve exacerbates this issue further. It is crucial that we address these infrastructure gaps urgently to ensure access to proper medical care and safe transportation for our community.
Furthermore, we recognize the importance of education in tackling the issue of child marriage comprehensively. Young girls in Iyindeve are eager to pursue education, and establishing schools within our community will play a pivotal role in achieving this goal. By providing educational opportunities, we empower girls to make informed choices about their futures and reduce the prevalence of child marriages.
This issue of money woman started in the ancient time of our great grandparents, and we became victims to these practices as I am a money woman child, my mother was sold at 8 years old to my father who was already very old and in his 60s when he bought my mother. My father was already married to another woman who had already given birth to children and before my mother could grow to 12 years old to start performing her wife duties my father was already too old. Most of us who were born as money children are really suffering as we did not have the privilege to be educated because our father died and left us very young to be catered for by our mothers. As a money child I could not go to school, if my mother had grown to the age of marriage and gotten married to her choice of man I think they would have struggled together to send us to school and not leave the struggle for only my mother, my mother was forcefully sold to my father, he did not marry her because he loved her, he bought my mother as a property, I was given birth to when my father was already 80 years and my mother was just 15 years old. This Spotlight really helped us and liberated us because; As a money child, if your father dies and he had two money women, the family will force the first son of one money women to inherit and marry the other ( step sons marrying step mothers) even if the woman is very old she will automatically become the son’s wife when the father is dead and he would be forced to make children with the woman as his inherited wife (even if he’s already married to another person) and also take of the siblings the father had as his own children and if the son refuses these responsibilities the penalty is dead.
This is the reason why many of us the money children are very happy and grateful to Spotlight for helping us out of this ugly situation, I am 39 years old, and I cannot inherit my father’s wife who is very old as my own wife. I was part of the Becheve Youth Congress at the Ranch and after that programme we the youth took all the information and things we learned back to our communities and we continuously sensitized both the elderly, youth, women, and girls more on the abolishment of the practice. I cannot express how happy we are as youths for this development that we will not find ourselves in this situation anymore and our girls will no longer be sold as properties.
As a first son, I still take the responsibility of training my 5 siblings now that my father is late and I have to train 3 of my own children too, this seems like a curse to me because I am just a petty farmer and I was not educated, this is why we are pleading for support NGOs and government to help us so we can be fully liberated from this ugly situation.
As a former money woman, I find it difficult to express my gratitude due to the immense suffering I have endured. My husband subjected me to daily beatings, asserting that I was nothing more than his purchased property. He made it clear that if I were to perish, he would simply acquire another. This degrading treatment was inflicted upon me despite my tender age of nine when my father gave me away as a money woman to an elderly man.
Tragically, my husband passed away while my children were still young, leaving me to endure the hardships of raising them alone. The weight of responsibility was overwhelming as I struggled to provide for my numerous children. However, amidst the trials, I find solace and joy in the knowledge that my grandchildren will not have to suffer the same fate as money women.
As a dedicated farmer, I yearn for financial support to initiate a small business venture or invest in farming crops. Our land boasts fertile soil, holding great potential. If I were granted the means to start such endeavors, it would not only bring me immense gratitude but also enable me to support my children and grandchildren who currently face uncertainty and are unable to attend school.
The impact of the Spotlight project on the lives of the people in Obanliku has been remarkable, leaving us deeply impressed with the outcomes achieved through the project’s trainings and sensitization efforts. We have taken significant steps by enacting byelaws that strictly prohibit early child marriage, imposing punitive measures on those who dare to violate them by marrying underage children or using them to settle debts. To ensure widespread awareness, we have diligently distributed copies of these byelaws to all clan heads and chiefs in the communities of Obanliku, instructing them to hold meetings with stakeholders and thoroughly explain the contents to community members.
Although reports indicated that some communities were still practicing child marriage despite the passing of the byelaw, I personally invited the clan heads and chiefs from those communities and engaged in productive discussions. Together, we leveraged the knowledge and materials obtained from various Spotlight trainings to effectively address the issue within the community. Consequently, the practice has been halted, and community members are now well aware of the legal consequences associated with it.
Overall, the Spotlight program has yielded highly favorable results in Obanliku, eradicating the distressing practices of using infant children as payment for debts and forcing them into marriage. However, to ensure sustainability, constant reminders are necessary regarding the adverse effects of such practices on the lives of our children and women. Regular sensitization campaigns and town hall meetings are vital to track progress, address challenges, and assess the outcomes of this transformative change. It is crucial to remember that this practice has deep roots within our communities, stretching back to our great grandparents, and without consistent reminders, there is a risk of regression.
One of the challenges we face involves women trapped in existing child marriages (money women) who express their desire to leave. However, the men involved demand the return of the bride price, which can amount to significant sums of money. In many cases, the girl’s family may not have the means to repay the amount, leading to her forced continuation in the marriage. If the girl defies the situation and leaves, the man who paid for her may resort to mystical measures, endangering her well-being. Therefore, we earnestly appeal to UN Women and other international non-governmental organizations to extend support to our women and girls, ensuring they are not trapped in such situations within our community.
Furthermore, financial resources are urgently needed for these communities, particularly those located in remote areas with impassable roads. Currently, reaching these communities requires costly motorcycle transportation for me and my cabinet members to organize town hall meetings and effectively address any arising issues. While we do not anticipate an increase in cases of rape or violence due to these developments, we are confident in our capacity to address such incidents using the knowledge gained from our trainings.
In conclusion, we express our heartfelt gratitude to the Spotlight initiative and the Centre for Leadership, Strategy, and Development (Centre LSD) for selecting Obanliku as a qualified and deserving beneficiary of their program. We are genuinely delighted with the positive results this program has brought to our community, and we remain committed to building upon these achievements to ensure a brighter future for all.
In 2020, my awareness of Gender-Based Violence (GBV) began when the Spotlight project reached our community. At the time, I was serving as a youth leader, and following the trainings, we, as a united group of youths, utilized our resources and voices to spread awareness about GBV in various settings such as communities, schools, marketplaces, and churches. Our goal was to sensitize men, women, fellow youths, and even children about the importance of granting women their rightful place in our community and society. Since then, we have consistently carried out these sensitization efforts, utilizing the capacity of the youth.
Now, having recently been elected as the chairman of the cycling association, I have a renewed opportunity to enlighten my people about GBV and ensure that justice is served when any case is reported. Prior to the implementation of the Centre LSD Spotlight program, our local government’s ten wards were plagued by severe issues such as rape and the sale of young girls to marry much older men at a tender age. Shockingly, some of these girls were sold while still in their mothers’ wombs, and by the time they reached three years old, they were handed over to the elderly men who had purchased them for marriage. Men were also engaging in domestic violence, with little regard for the consequences. The community was engulfed in chaos, and nobody stood up for the rights of our women and girls.
However, since the arrival of the Spotlight project in 2020 and the subsequent trainings we received, we, as empowered youths, took the knowledge back to our respective communities and played an active role in abolishing these abhorrent practices. Thanks to our united efforts and the support of our Paramount ruler, progress has been made.
To ensure the sustained awareness and prevention of gender-based violence and harmful practices, it is imperative to continue providing trainings within our communities. These ongoing efforts will help to keep people informed and educated about GBV, empowering them to take a stand against it.
As a result of my involvement in the Becheve youth congress and the subsequent actions taken, significant progress has been made in combating gender-based violence and harmful practices against women and girls in our community. We have successfully challenged the arrangement of young girls being married off to older men and put an end to the practice of forcing incompatible couples to live as husband and wife.
After being sensitized during the youth congress, we took it upon ourselves to address the issues prevalent in our community. We engaged with families who were arranging marriages for their young girls and reminded them of the byelaws enacted by the paramount ruler. Through these conversations, we highlighted the legal implications and severe consequences associated with such practices. Additionally, I conducted specialized training sessions for keke riders, emphasizing the importance of respecting girls, refraining from harassment, and seeking consent.
The intervention of Spotlight played a crucial role in our success. Through their support and guidance, we were able to understand the harmful effects of gender-based violence and work towards its eradication. With their assistance, we challenged the tradition of parents paying a bride price for an infant girl to be married to their own infant son. By raising awareness and advocating for change, we put an end to this practice. Thanks to Spotlight’s intervention, if a couple in such a forced marriage wishes to separate, the girl’s family now has the right to return the bride price and take their daughter back home.
To sustain these positive changes and further empower our community, we seek continued support from Spotlight and other non-governmental organizations. Ongoing workshops and training sessions for men, women, and youth are vital in keeping us enlightened and equipped to protect the rights and well-being of our women and girls. It is our collective responsibility to advocate for girls’ right to education and the freedom to choose their life partners when they are ready. By working together, we can create a safer and more inclusive community for everyone.
The presence of the Spotlight project in our community has brought about significant positive changes. Before Centre LSD introduced the project, we faced numerous challenges, particularly the harmful practice of “money woman” or child marriage. Through the workshops and trainings conducted by Spotlight, we learned about the detrimental effects of these practices on our women and girls. We realized that every child has rights, and our ignorance had led us to engage in such practices unknowingly, causing harm to our community members.
After the enlightening trainings and workshops, we disseminated the materials provided by Spotlight among our people. Additionally, we established a byelaw to guide our decision-making processes in abolishing the harmful practice of child marriage in our communities. The impact of the workshops was further evident during the townhall meetings, where youth attendees embraced the campaign against “money woman” and actively spread awareness, reaching even those who couldn’t participate in the workshops. Initially, there was some disagreement among the youth, but we managed to resolve it amicably by fostering a common understanding that abolishing this practice would contribute to the well-being and growth of our community, particularly the protection of our girls and women.
The workshops, particularly the one held in Abuja, provided us with valuable insights and opportunities for networking. As chiefs and clan heads from various communities, we realized that while some had long abandoned certain harmful practices, we were still unaware of their negative consequences. Coming together as leaders during these workshops enhanced our enlightenment, and upon returning to our respective communities, we were determined to implement changes that would promote community growth and foster a positive reputation beyond our borders. The trainings also fostered cooperation among our leadership, as we recognized that by working together in harmony, our voices would carry more weight and influence our people positively.
We sincerely hope that Centre LSD will continue its invaluable work in our communities, supporting us on this transformative journey. Our women, especially the survivors, require assistance, such as access to loans for starting small businesses and enabling their children’s education. Furthermore, we need support to organize townhall meetings and provide assistance to the town criers who play a crucial role in spreading information about these gatherings.
By joining forces and receiving ongoing support, we aim to create a better future for everyone in our community, including men, women, youth, boys, and girls. Together, we can achieve lasting positive change and foster an environment where every individual thrives.
I am proud to be one of the SGBV champions in the Kigol community in Becheve. On behalf of the Spotlight initiative, we are actively engaged in addressing issues related to gender-based violence and harmful practices against women and girls in our communities. Thanks to the intervention by Centre LSD through the Spotlight initiative, we have witnessed positive responses from our community members.
Through our continuous campaigns, we have successfully raised awareness about SGBV, and approximately 80% of the population is now well-informed about the issue. People are making efforts to live up to the expectations of putting an end to harmful practices against women and girls in our communities, thanks to the intervention of the Spotlight initiative. Prior to the initiative’s intervention, our communities used to practice the tradition of “money woman,” where infant girls, sometimes as young as one year old or even while their mothers were pregnant, were given away in marriage to settle debts. However, I am delighted to inform you that this practice has been abolished, and a byelaw has been enacted to punish anyone secretly engaging in it. This remarkable achievement is the direct result of the intervention by the Spotlight initiative, and it brings immense pride to our people.
As a male champion, my role involved visiting various remote communities in the valleys of Obanliku, where child marriage was still prevalent. I conducted sensitization campaigns, educating the community members about the detrimental effects of such marriages on our girls. I emphasized the importance of providing education to the girls, as it would empower them to contribute meaningfully to society in the future. Recently, during a meeting attended by the Governor’s mother-in-law and fathers from the interior communities, witnessing the respect accorded to her as a woman evoked a sense of regret among them. They realized that if these harmful practices had been stopped many years ago, and if they had prioritized educating their female children instead of marrying them off or using them to settle debts, their daughters would have become influential individuals in society. Consequently, they are determined to uphold the existing laws against the “money woman” practice and ensure that anyone who violates these laws faces the consequences. As youths, we will continue to sensitize and educate our communities about this practice.
Personally, I have gained invaluable knowledge from the trainings and workshops organized by the Spotlight initiative. Growing up as a child of a “money woman,” I was oblivious to the wrongness of this practice, considering it a long-standing tradition passed down from our ancestors. However, through the education and awareness created by the Spotlight initiative, we have come to realize that this practice has been a hindrance to progress in our communities.
In light of our achievements, I would like to propose a few suggestions. In Becheve alone, we have approximately 3,000 survivors of the “money woman” tradition, who are currently without a means of livelihood. It is crucial to provide support and empower these survivors through skill acquisition training, enabling them to gain income and sustainable livelihoods. This will not only improve their well-being but also contribute to supporting their children’s education. Additionally, we face challenges regarding the availability and quality of schools for our children. Therefore, we seek support from NGOs to help us build new schools or improve the existing ones, ensuring that our children receive a quality basic education.
By addressing these issues and providing support where needed, we can continue on the path of progress, creating a better future for our community, where every individual, regardless of gender, can thrive.
From a very young age, my family had already collected money for my head from an old man. By the time I turned 15, my family pleaded with me to go and live with the man as his wife, so he wouldn’t cause trouble or harm them for keeping me. The man was 70 years old at the time, while I was just 15. I ended up moving in with him and became his wife. Over the years, I gave birth to six children, but unfortunately, the man passed away when he reached 90 years old. With his old age, he was unable to provide support in raising the children. Now that he’s gone, I am left to care for my children all by myself.
Since my husband’s death, I have been struggling to support my children. I work as a hairdresser and engage in petty banana farming to earn enough to pay for their school fees. Unfortunately, there are times when we don’t have enough money for both their education and basic needs, and they end up missing school. I have three boys and three girls. My oldest son is in SS3 (senior secondary school) and should be preparing to write the WAEC exam with his classmates, but we lack the funds to pay his school fees and register him for the exam. My second child is in SS2, while my third child is currently unable to attend school due to financial constraints.
I want to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to the Spotlight initiative for the assistance they have provided to women and girls in our community by helping to eradicate this harmful practice. I am also reaching out for support in raising my children. Currently, I am learning hairdressing, and I would greatly appreciate support to establish myself in this business. It will not only enable me to sustain my family but also allow me to train my children. I am delighted that none of my daughters will experience what I went through, and they will never be forced into child marriage. My utmost desire is for my children to receive an education and have a brighter future.
Any support, whether financial or otherwise, would go a long way in transforming the lives of my children and me. I remain hopeful and determined to create a better life for them, breaking free from the hardships we face.
After participating in the Spotlight workshops and trainings, we gained a deep understanding of the detrimental effects of the money woman tradition on our women, girls, and our entire community. As a result, we have completely abolished the practice of marrying off underage girls and using them to settle debts. In our community, we now recognize and uphold equal rights for both men and women, including equal access to education for our children.
The incidence of gender-based violence has significantly decreased in Anape village. Whenever a case of domestic abuse arises, I ensure that law enforcement agencies are involved to swiftly address and resolve the issue. Through extensive townhall meetings with the youth and men in our community, we have been able to educate our people about the harmful nature of these practices and the importance of combating gender-based violence. Furthermore, we ensure that anyone who violates the law faces the consequences of their actions.
We extend our heartfelt appreciation to NGOs like Spotlight, who have played a crucial role in our community. They have supported us in resolving these problems and have been instrumental in raising awareness about the root causes of these practices, such as poverty and idleness. To sustain the progress we have made, we are in need of further support, particularly in empowering our youth and providing skill acquisition programs for our women and young girls.
We are immensely grateful for the presence of Spotlight in our villages. Their training and ongoing support have empowered us to put an end to these harmful practices. They have also made a valuable effort to assess our progress and gather feedback from survivors. We consider Spotlight to be a cherished partner in our journey towards a better future.
My story is one of hardship and resilience. I became a victim of the money woman tradition when my grandmother’s youngest daughter was sold by her father and later ran away. The community demanded a replacement wife, and at the age of 8, I was taken to galumo to be given to an old man as a money woman. However, they rejected me, considering me too young, and sent me back to my mother to stay with her for some time.
On October 15th, 2017, they took me back to galumo to live with the old man. I stayed there until December 18th, 2017, when the woman who provided the money for my marriage sent a message requesting that I be brought back to live with her in the ranch. My mother agreed on the condition that they would send me to school, but it was against their customs to educate money women. Despite this, my mother persistently advocated for my education, and eventually, the woman agreed to enroll me but did not provide any educational materials.
My mother had to sew my school uniform and buy books for me. However, the woman did not take care of me, so I ended up relying on my boyfriend for support. Unfortunately, I became pregnant, and although the boy accepted the pregnancy, he could not take responsibility as the child would not be considered his due to my status as a money woman. Enraged, the woman expelled me from her house, leaving me with no choice but to seek refuge at my mother’s place, where I stayed until giving birth.
I was not sold by my mother or grandmother; it was the decision of others who threatened harm if their demands were not met. I want to emphasize that my family did not willingly participate in this practice. I deeply regret my unintended pregnancy and understand the consequences it brought.
Now, I have a strong desire to return to school. I reached SS2 before I had to drop out, and I would like to resume my education from Junior Secondary School (JS3) as my reading skills need improvement. Furthermore, I aspire to study outside my village. In addition to my academic goals, I am passionate about chess. I learned about a chess championship program organized for survivors of the money woman tradition in my village. I participated, learned chess, and even emerged as the champion. Currently, I teach my younger brother, and if given the opportunity, I would love to compete in national and international chess championships. Additionally, I am interested in learning hairdressing.
My dreams are centered around education, personal growth, and self-sufficiency. I am determined to overcome the challenges I have faced and build a brighter future for myself and my child.
(Eunice): I was just a young child when I was taken to live with the man who purchased me as a money woman. Growing up in his house was challenging as they refused to provide any training or support. The man harbored hatred towards me and neglected my care, which led me to run away and return to my father’s house. I am now a mother of four children, three girls and one boy. I am in need of support to start a petty business or learn tailoring. I am relieved that my children will not endure the suffering I experienced as a money woman. They will have the opportunity to grow up, receive an education, and make their own choices in life.
(Grace): As an infant, I was used to pay off a debt, and I was carried on someone’s back to the man’s house. I grew up in a family where I was treated as property and nothing more. I faced disdain within my family, and they neglected to care for me. I have given birth to several children, and unfortunately, some of them passed away due to illness. I now have five children who have grown up without education. My family accuses me of causing the deaths of my children and continues to treat me with hatred. They have refused to support me or send my children to school. I rely on petty farming to provide for my children, but I am unable to afford their education. I am in need of support to learn tailoring.
Both Eunice and Grace are grateful that the practice that brought them immense suffering has been discontinued in their community. They no longer witness the same fate befalling other young girls. They are hopeful for a brighter future, where their children will have access to education and opportunities to thrive.
I was 15 years old when I was sold to a 65-year-old man as a “money woman.” I was forced to marry him and give birth to four children. He was unable to take care of me or my children because he was too old. I was trapped in a loveless marriage and I was miserable.
I wished that this tradition would have been stopped before I became a victim. However, I am grateful that it has been stopped now. I am happy that other girls in my community will not have to suffer like I did.
My children are not going to school because I cannot afford to send them. I need support to start a small business so that I can earn a living and send my children to school. I would also like to learn how to sew so that I can make clothes for my family and sell them to make more money.
I am a survivor of this tradition, and I am determined to build a better life for myself and my children. I am hopeful that with your help, I can achieve my dreams.
I was 10 years old when I was sold to a 55-year-old man as a “money woman.” I was forced to marry him and have children with him. He was abusive and controlling, and he refused to take care of me or my children. I was miserable and I longed to be free.
When I was 15 years old, I finally escaped from my husband. I took my five children with me and we fled to a nearby village. We were welcomed by the villagers, who gave us food and shelter. I was finally free from my abusive husband, but I was still struggling to make ends meet.
I did not have any skills or education, so I could not find a job. I had to rely on farming to feed my family. It was hard work, but I was determined to provide for my children.
One day, I heard on the radio that the government had abolished the practice of selling young girls as “money women.” I was overjoyed. I knew that my three daughters would never have to suffer the same fate as I had.
I am still struggling, but I am hopeful for the future. I am determined to give my children a better life than I had. I am looking for ways to start a business or learn a skill so that I can earn a living. I know that it will be hard work, but I am confident that I can achieve my goals.
I am grateful for the support of the villagers and the government. They have helped me to start a new life for myself and my children. I am hopeful that one day, I will be able to repay their kindness.
At the tender age of 8, my father gave me away to a 60-year-old man as a money woman. However, the trajectory of my life took a significant turn when our community’s chief summoned a meeting and announced the abolition of this practice. He emphasized that a bylaw had been enacted, ensuring that anyone who violated this new law would face legal consequences. Furthermore, we were informed that as money women, if we found ourselves trapped in loveless and neglectful marriages, we had the right to leave. Encouraged by this newfound knowledge, I made the courageous decision to leave the old man.
Since then, I have been shouldering the heavy burden of caring for my six children alone. My eldest, a 27-year-old, has unfortunately missed out on formal education due to our circumstances, but I left him in 2021 with the hope of a brighter future. The thought of my three daughters not having to endure the same experiences and sufferings as I did fills my heart with immense joy.
To sustain myself and provide for my children, I engage in cassava farming. However, I long for the opportunity to open a shop or engage in petty trading, which would not only enable me to send my children to school but also ensure our well-being. Therefore, I humbly seek support in realizing this dream of mine and securing a better future for my children and myself.
At the tender age of 5, I was subjected to the cruel fate of being sold as a money woman to a 67-year-old man. Overwhelmed by the despair and longing for freedom, I mustered the courage to flee to another community. However, my escape was met with brutal consequences. My own father, upon discovering my whereabouts, subjected me to severe beatings and forcefully dragged me back to the man’s house. Despite my repeated attempts to run away, I found myself trapped without anywhere to seek refuge. Time and time again, they tracked me down and forcibly returned me to my captor.
At the age of 10, I gave birth to my first child, while still confined within the confines of this loveless union. It was evident that the man, already married to his first wife before my arrival, showed no concern for my well-being. Instead, his attention remained exclusively on his original wife and their children, leaving me and my offspring to suffer the degrading treatment befitting mere slaves.
In 2018, I mustered the strength to break free from this oppressive marriage. The man’s neglect and my deep-rooted aversion towards him compelled me to make the difficult decision to leave. I yearned for a life where I and my children would be cared for and respected, a life free from the chains of the money woman status.
I was 8 years old when I was sold as a money woman, when I grew to 12 years the man started sleeping with me and I gave birth to children, and I have 5 children. I was really disturbed because I was suffering in the marriage and the man was not concerned about my children’s education and I could not do anything about it because my parents were late, and I had no one to talk to about my situation. Had my parents were alive I would have begged them to pay him back so I can leave the marriage earlier. I left the marriage last year 2022.
So, when I heard about the abolishment of the culture, I was very happy, so I spoke to him that I was leaving because the marriage was not working, and the first wife already gave birth to 7 children for him. The man was 72 years old when they gave me to him. I need financial support to start trading business to feed and send my children to school. I am glad my girls will not have this same experience.
From a tender age, I was subjected to the heart-wrenching fate of being sold as a money woman by my own father. He deceived me, leading me to believe that the man to whom he handed me over was my brother. However, this so-called brother turned out to be a drunkard who would return home inebriated and unleash his fury upon me. Seeking solace, I would run back to my father, hoping for protection from the relentless abuse. Yet, to my dismay, he coldly informed me that there was no place for me in his house. He had already received payment for me, and he lacked the means to reimburse the man who had bought me. With each desperate return, my father would promptly return me to the clutches of the man’s house.
I endured this torment until the age of 15, at which point I began to bear the weight of motherhood. In total, I gave birth to four children—two boys and two girls. However, as expected, the man regarded me as mere property and refused to take any responsibility for me or our children. Left to fend for ourselves, I toiled tirelessly in the fields to ensure that my children had enough to eat. The man’s demise marked a new chapter, albeit a distressing one, as his brother inherited me. This brother, already married and blessed with numerous offspring, denied me access to my late husband’s farmland as punishment for refusing to fulfill his desires as my new husband. Presently, I reside in my late husband’s house with my children, persevering through the trials that life continues to present.
The news of the abolition of this abhorrent cultural practice fills me with profound joy and relief. If only this change had come sooner, sparing countless others from such anguish. Nevertheless, I stand as a survivor, determined to ensure that my children are shielded from the wretchedness I endured. To accomplish this, I humbly seek support to embark on a small trading venture that will enable me to provide for my children’s education. I extend my heartfelt gratitude to Spotlight for their program, which has freed us and our children from the clutches of this malevolent culture.
From the moment of my birth, I was bound to a fate I only discovered later in life. Unbeknownst to me, I was given away as a money woman to a 75-year-old man. Growing up, the people I believed to be my parents turned out to be custodians who had kept the truth hidden from me. It was at the age of 5 that I stumbled upon the harsh reality, prompting me to flee my village in desperation.
My father relentlessly pursued me, determined to return me to the clutches of the man’s house. However, I refused to succumb to my fate. Time and time again, I escaped their grasp, seeking solace with my brother in Obudu. For a brief period, I found respite in my brother’s care until I reached the age of 10. Sadly, I was eventually apprehended and forcibly returned to the man’s house. Determined to break free, I fled once more to the sanctuary of the ranch. Here, hidden away, I have remained, as I had no other place to call home.
When news reached me of the abolition of this deplorable cultural practice, elation surged through my being. However, the lingering consequences continue to haunt me. They insist that I cannot enter into another marriage until my family repays them the entirety of what they had paid for me as a money woman. They persistently demand a refund, yet I remain unaware of the exact sum they seek, and I lack the means to satisfy their demands. As a result, I have been barred from returning to my village, severed from my roots and the semblance of a normal life. Education has remained an elusive dream, and I rely on the support of my two brothers—one residing in Obudu and the other on the ranch—to survive.
To break free from this cycle of dependence, I yearn for the opportunity to learn hairdressing—a skill that would grant me the means to support myself and reclaim my autonomy. Your support in this endeavor would be invaluable to me as I strive to forge a better future.
Growing up, I became acutely aware of the barbaric practice of child marriage prevalent in our community. The realization struck me when one of my younger sisters endured unimaginable suffering after refusing to be handed over to the husband she was assigned to since conception. This abhorrent tradition had persisted for generations, a product of poverty-stricken families who perceived little worth in their daughters. They resorted to mortgaging their female children in exchange for meager sums, farmland, food supplies, and other commodities.
For instance, a destitute father burdened by the financial demands of burying his own father would relinquish his daughter or younger sister to a wealthy man in the village, trading her for goats, yams, stockfish, pigs, palm wine, and everything required for the money woman marriage. These exchanges took place at a tender age, as only elderly men possessed such possessions in our village. Tragically, this pattern persisted even until the practice was ultimately abolished. Consequently, many survivors found themselves widowed, left with children to care for, and without anyone to support them. These men had used them solely for procreation before succumbing to old age.
These women endured immense suffering, unable to remarry following their husbands’ demise unless the husband’s family retrieved and repaid everything they had expended to secure the marriage. Unfortunately, most families lacked the means to fulfill these obligations, leaving these women trapped in loveless unions. They were often inherited by the deceased husband’s firstborn sons or brothers. Tragically, those who dared to resist and sought to marry of their own accord risked losing their lives.
Over the years, a handful of families began to distance themselves from this heinous practice, prompted by religious teachings. However, numerous individuals remained deeply entrenched in its clutches until the advent of the Spotlight Initiative. This vital initiative served as a beacon of enlightenment, fully educating us about the savagery of this culture. Even our paramount ruler, clan heads, and chiefs acknowledged the devastating effects it had on the lives of our women, girls, and our community as a whole. Consequently, sweeping changes were set in motion, culminating in the abolition of this tradition. We now abide by bylaws that enforce severe penalties for any transgressions.
As one of the community leaders, I actively participated in the Spotlight Initiative’s program, spearheaded by the program manager, Mr. Vincent. His guidance proved invaluable to our communities. Together, we conducted town hall meetings and campaigns to sensitize people about the detriments of this culture. The eradication of this abhorrence brings us great joy and freedom for our girls. Only a few women presently remain in these marriages, choosing to endure due to age or the presence of their children. However, for the younger girls who refuse to accept such unions, agreements are being reached with the support of clan heads to ensure successful resolutions, granting them the freedom to depart.
Our girls and entire community have reaped immense benefits from this project, and we extend our heartfelt gratitude to the Spotlight Initiative for their invaluable support in achieving this monumental success. The survivors require substantial assistance, primarily in the form of education for their children. The prevalence of out-of-school children remains alarmingly high in our communities, a direct consequence of this marriage practice. These women lack the means to provide their children with an education. Additionally, young survivors who have yet to reach school age are eager to acquire an education. Empowerment and skill acquisition training are also essential, enabling these mothers to learn trades that will sustain their families. Furthermore, we urgently need schools in our communities and improved access to our remote locations.
In 2022, the Becheve Youth Congress was organized by the Spotlight Initiative in collaboration with the Ranch Youth Movement to raise awareness about the child marriage culture and to improve the image of the Becheve community. The congress had a significant impact as many young people attended, and the teachings and awareness generated from the event went viral. Various youth leaders signed commitments on ways to support survivors of the child marriage culture, eliminate discrimination, and ensure that survivors feel valued in society.
Since the congress, ongoing activities and campaigns have taken place, including the establishment of the Becheve Youth Forum, which facilitates discussions, campaigns, and awareness creation on the negative effects of child marriage and other harmful practices within different communities. There have been noticeable changes within Becheve as the importance of valuing the girl child and providing education for them has become more widely recognized. The abolition of the money woman culture has also been celebrated.
It has become clear that engaging necessary stakeholders is crucial when working to abolish such age-old traditions that have been accepted by many without question. The youths have played a vital role in addressing these issues, using a bottom-to-top approach with the support of the Spotlight Initiative. The involvement of the youth has also broadened their knowledge of social activities, cultures, and traditions that affect not only females but males and the entire community.
The Spotlight Initiative deserves special thanks for the efforts they have made in opening the eyes of community members, clan heads, councillors, and paramount rulers to abolish the child marriage tradition. Nevertheless, there is still work to be done, and the government, NGOs, INGOs, and philanthropies are called upon to support survivors in acquiring the means of livelihood they need, especially those who have learned skills but lack the necessary resources to put them into practice.
There are also challenges with access to education and technology, which hinder students from competing globally, as well as with health, where medical doctors are lacking, leading to high mortality rates. The Becheve land is fertile for the cultivation of various crops, and support with farming tools, improved crop varieties, and access to markets and storage facilities is needed to boost agriculture.
Since 2020, I have been actively involved as a community volunteer with Centre LSD on the Spotlight project, which aims to end violence against women and girls, particularly the money woman culture in my community of Becheve. Although my parents were not directly affected by the money woman culture, its existence indirectly impacted them. My grandparents prioritized saving their money and wealth to acquire a money woman, which meant they did not invest in the education of my parents. This lack of education has affected me personally, as it required significant effort to make my parents understand the importance of sending us to school. If they had received an education, I believe they would have been in a better position in society today.
Working on the Spotlight project has exposed me to new knowledge and opportunities that I never thought were possible. It has helped me build self-confidence and realize the crucial role women play in society. The project’s intervention has also led to the abolition of child marriage in Becheve, which is a significant achievement for our community. Finally, we can see the reasons to end this practice that has hindered progress for so long.
As a member of the project team, one of the approaches that proved effective was not imposing change on the community. Instead, through conferences, town hall meetings, workshops, and training sessions, we engaged the community in discussions, allowing them to realize the negative effects of the money woman culture. The community then made the decision to abolish it and pass laws to guide our actions. This approach ensured that the community took ownership of the intervention and worked together towards success.
For the survivors of the money woman culture, I am committed to being their voice and advocating for their rights. I will ensure they are not intimidated or abused in any way. Additionally, I appeal to other NGOs and INGOs to extend their support to these survivors. Many of them live in extreme poverty and lack the means to sustain themselves or provide education for their children. They desperately need assistance and opportunities for livelihood empowerment.
Through collective efforts and continued support, we can create a better future for the survivors and our community as a whole.
My name is Vincent Dania, I work with African Centre for Leadership, Strategy & Development, I am the project manager for the Spotlight Male Engagement Project for UNWomen in Lagos and Cross River State. In Lagos we work in two LGAs Ikorodu and Yaba while in Cross River State we worked in three LGAs Calabar Municipal, Calabar South and Obanliku.
Obanliku holds a special place in my heart because we achieved our biggest success in Obanliku, when we came to Obanliku, one of the things that made us choose to work in the community was the presence of the money woman tradition in Becheve community in Obanliku, the culture is the kind you here about in prehistoric times. It’s a culture where female children are used as objects for the payment of debts, though there is a bigger explanation to the culture, there is a good part and the bad part but I am talking about the bad aspect of the culture where a child of 5-10 years or sometimes before the child is born she is sold to a man who is usually a friend to the family, the father or a long distance old uncle. Cases where a child of 8 years is married to a man of 70 years and they start having sex with them at the age of 10 years, the result is that the child bride starts giving birth at a very young age which exposes them to several health conditions and those who survive the health conditions end up having many children at a very young age, you see a woman of 30 years having grandchildren because they started giving birth in their pre-teen years and most times the husbands die and leave these women to cater for the children alone, the culture gave birth to multidimensional form of poverty, you see women with nothing doing having family to cater for, many out of school children and not being cared for.
Our engagement was strategic as we used the whole community approach, even though our role on the Spotlight Initiative was Male Engagement we ride on men to reach every other stakeholders in the community, from engaging the paramount ruler who is like the King of the local government to the clan heads in charge of several communities in the LGA to the village heads, the youths and their different groups to ensure we touched every stakeholder in the community. We started by exposing them to laws and legal provisions that made the culture barbaric, we did workshops and symposiums, and the good thing is that we did not come to force them to see that this culture is bad but from our trainings and workshops they realised that the culture was barbaric and needed to be abolished, it was a change wat was driven by them and that is why they about what we have achieved in this community. The door has been opened with the abolishment of the culture but that is the first step because the residual impact of that culture still lives with the people and the money women survivors need support to be integrated back to the society and those who have families need to be able fend for their families and send the children to school, they need to be empowered with vocational skills and those who are into farming needs support with farming tools and crops, access roads to bring their farm produce to markets e.g bananas, honey, garri, palm oil etc that if they are able to take to the market they will be able to make money to meet their basic needs. I am calling on government to create roads, schools and health centres for this community and also calling on our international partners, European Union, Ford Foundation, UNWomen, Plan International, we have reacted and approach that works here and it should be supported to support this women with vocational skills help them make ends meet and to also support this approach in other parts of Nigeria where there is similar issues of child marriage.
